Callan's most popular sport. Despite the game being an apparently important feature of the Callanian economy, the game is hated by everyone except jocks.

The most popular team is the Baccdair Brawlers. The most popular player is the late Brett Taggerty.

The Rules of Slaughterball:

The goal of the game is simple: to slaughter with a ball.

Despite its name, slaughterball does not actually require a ball. At a time in the past, Slaughterball did involve a ball, though the practice has been phased out over the years as carrying a ball became too much of an obstacle to the slaughter. Removing the ball led to new and more varied means by which to achieve the goal of the game.

Slaughterball is officially played in arenas, though games do not require one proper. Streetball is perfectly possible, and in fact we have never seen Brett Taggerty doing anything but playing Streetball.

There are two teams in a game of Slaughterball. There is the team, and then there is everybody else. I will explain later how this works.

In an arena game, sanctioned by the Slaughterball League and the Callanian government, the professional Slaughterball team is brought in. Then, prisoners are released into the arena. The team must then slaughter the prisoners in a manner that resembles a sport of their choice (this choice is made by the team before the prisoners are released).

When the prisoners are all deceased, the judges then evaluate the game on three levels: The resemblance of the slaughter to the game declared at the beginning, the violence of the slaughter and the enthusiasm of the crowd.

These are rated on a scale of one to ten. Ten judges sit on the panel and tally their scores together. In order to "win," the team must score at least 250 points. If the team loses, they are imprisoned and a new team recruited. Naturally, the new team must be more bloodthirsty and depraved than the previous team, because it is against the rules for the team to die in Slaughterball.

In Streetball, the team meanders about raping, pillaging, molesting, and attacking whatever it fancies. Points are awarded by those they harm, on a scale to "Who are you" to "Ow my spleen." A game of Streetball generally starts when a League-sanctioned game ends and does not end until another League-sanctioned game begins. As you can see, Slaughterball becomes more than a career - it becomes a lifestyle.

Some interesting Slaughterball factoids.

Brett Taggerty holds the record for most points scored by a solo artist. His first game saw the rest of his team chicken out, so he fought the entire game by himself.

Brett Taggerty's father, Brett Taggerty, captained the team with the longest undefeated record of all time of 52 years. His streak was broken when his team lost a Streetball game to Warlord Mustache and his then twelve-year old son, Siegfried. It was Warlord Mustache's birthday, and they celebrated with a game of Slaughterball against some orcs, culminating with a lynching of the Orcish audience they invited especially for the event.

The three games of Slaughterball with the highest score totals for resembling the sport announced at the beginning of the game were:

Brett Taggerty (solo) vs. everybody else: Rugby (87 points)
Brett Taggerty (team) vs. everybody else: Ice Hockey (91 points)
Warlord Mustache and son vs. Orcs: Synchronized Swimming (100 points)

Rules of Slaughterball drafted by Saint Ridley.